right now
i am watching C-SPAN'S
live viewer call-in show
i watch it just about every morning

there are many things
about this show that are noteworthy
among them is the behavior of the callers

some call in and
make a comment
or ask question
in a manner that is
calm, coherent
and direct

some are the self-described
"first-time callers"
who are so surprised
that they actually got through to the live broadcast
they have all they can do
to remain coherent
these folks often state that they are nervous
and apologize for inarticulateness

and then there are these others
that i am writing about today

this group may represent
only 10-15% of callers
but there seems to be
at least two or three of them each day

they stand out from the rest

this kind of caller
will calmly begin to state
his/her comment or question

but then something happens
its like a snowball
rolling down a mountainside
gathering momentum

after a sentence or two
the tone of the caller's voice
begins to change
it becomes shakey and
progressively more rancorous

an insult or two
may be sprinkled in

next
the comments start to lose coherence
the caller seems unsure where to go
with his remarks

at this point
the eyes of the call-in show's host
begin to widen
he or she gets kind of a nervous smile
and seems to be considering
cutting off the caller
by pushing that button
that we never get to see

you got wonder what is going on here

it seems to me
that this kind of caller
often has a valid concern
and he or she begins to
discuss this concern
from his "head"

but as the comments proceed
and the caller becomes
more aroused
the comments start coming from
some other place

a place of anger or resentment
about something that is related to
but distinct from
the call-in show topic

i am not writing this
to put down
these callers

i am writing to note that
this kind of call spooks me
i watch it with morbid fascination
because it seems that this
"snowball rolling" communication
is something that we all have the potential to do
every day and perhaps
every conversation

it seems
that there is a possibility (or risk)
that as we discuss an important issue
we may tap into something deeper
some kind of anger or resentment
or whatever else
that we may not be fully aware of

i think
that when i am involved
in a heated discussion
and i begin to feel
that snowball rolling
i have to ask myself
"what's going on here?"
and "what am i really talking about?"

what do you think?