psychiatrist Eric Berne (1910-1970) studied human
interaction

in Games People Play (1964) Berne presented his
psychoanalytic theory, “Transactional Analysis”

in this work, three concepts are central: games,
intimacy and awareness

a game is defined as a set of social interactions
that we habitually and unconsciously play out
when we interact with others

factors that motivate us to play games include:

1) the desire for - attention, stimulation, connection,
intimacy, confirmation of our assumptions, and

2 ) the desire to avoid - anxiety, responsibility and
intimacy

intimacy is a second issue that is central in
Games People Play

Berne contends that we desire intimacy; but we
find it difficult to achieve, and it causes anxiety -

anxiety because of the vulnerability that comes
with a close and intense relationship

the ambivalence we have towards intimacy leads
us to adopt and play out games,

Berne writes,

Games are a compromise between intimacy and
keeping intimacy away

Games People Play (1964) lists approximately
100 games; most are counterproductive; a few
are positive

Homely Sage is an example of a positive game,
here, the game’s interactions involve giving advice
and assisting others

payoffs include attention, interaction, and validation
of oneself as useful

Homely Sage is usually played by a retired person

an example of a counterproductive game, is Harried

here, the player continually portrays himself as
swamped with responsibilities, and therefore, too
busy for intense personal involvement

payoffs for playing Harried include: positive regard
for being so busy and productive; and, more
importantly, avoidance of the anxiety associated
with intimacy

awareness, is the third issue mentioned above

in Games People Play Berne writes:

For certain fortunate people, there is something
which transcends all classifications of behavior, and
that is awareness; something which rises above the
programming of the past

with insight into our life situation, we may eventually
refrain from game playing and begin to adopt more
effective strategies to obtain involvement, connection
and intimacy

take a look at the picture above

does this man’s posture, or body language,
seem to convey something?

social scientists contend that our gestures,
facial expressions and postures reflect our
feelings, thoughts and intentions

they contend that body language is innate
and universal, spanning across cultures, and
even species

at some level, we all know about body language -
but how often do we consciously attend to it?

people who want to influence us make a study
of body language

they consciously send us nonverbal communications
and they are keenly attuned to the signals we
send back

the intentions of some students of body language
are benign -

doctors and therapists, for example, may
consciously use their bodies to reassure us

salesmen, lawyers and politicians, however,
may use body language to subtly influence us -
to their advantage

there are some internet sites that coach men
on how to use body language to attract women -
is this use benign or is it something else?

back to the posture shown at the top of the page -
it might convey messages such as:

“relax, you’re in good hands with me”
“I’m in the superior position here”
“i got the answers ”
“you’d be smart to let me help you”

do any of these possible messages seem to
ring true?

(Bergman’s Wild Strawberries, 1957)

a dream is a creation; our dreams are our creations -

they are pieced together by us; with the pieces
being our experiences, feelings and preoccupations

our dreams are therefore a reflection of us

Carl Jung likened the dream to the theater -

with the dreamer being the play-write, director,
actor, and even the prompter, who feeds the actor
his lines

if we PonderAbout our dreams, we may discover
what they are saying about us and perhaps, to us

according to psychologist Carl Jung, humans have
an innate tendency to use a particular set of symbols
to understand the world

he refers to these symbols as archetypes; and we
come hardwired with them

each archetype has a general form that will vary only
slightly from culture to culture and from era to era

archetypes have mysterious names like the magician,
the great mother, the trickster, the shadow, the hero
and the fool

Jungians believe that these universal symbols are
projected onto, and therefore reflected in, our art,
myths, literature, dreams, movies - in all our crea-
tions, old and new; from the latest 3D IMAX movies
to our earliest myths

and the archetypes are clearly in evidence in the
600-year-old, Tarot Deck

a 78 card deck whose mysterious figures are believed
to depict the various stages of psychological develop-
ment and the various facets of our character

if you wish to PonderAbout this pre-psychology
psychology, check out books such as:

Tarot and Psychology

Jung and Tarot: An Archetypal Journey

The Jungian Tarot Deck

imagine that
you are dreaming

it’s the kind of dream
you have had many times before

but now suddenly
and surprisingly,
you become aware
that you are dreaming

this is called “Lucid Dreaming”;
and the dreamer is said to be
“lucid” within the dream

when one becomes lucid,
it is possible to
change the course of the dream

the dreamer might,
for example, decide to:

-soar through the air like a bird, or

-punch someone’s lights out, or

-attend to unmet needs, or

-just wake up

if you became lucid
in one of your typical dreams,
would you change it?

if so,
how would you change it?

how would you feel?

lucid dreaming
is something worth
pondering about

if you are not familiar with this topic,
here’s a link to get started -

lucid deaming